Monologue 5

Many years after … many thousand years after I know there will be some prophet like…like Moses whom people would love …whom people would look upon as an inspiration…whom people would consider as the essence of finest human elements ….that prophet will be like a…like a conscience of all the people who would guide them through all the adversities of their life…but that would be many many years after. Right now there is no one …there is only a Lord with me. He only talks to me and guides me. Sometimes I feel that He stops talking to me then I feel very helpless. I just brood over that why he has suddenly stopped talking to me? Is He not there? Is there no more anything which I can understand about Him? He seems almost finished for me and then all of a sudden I understand that its not He who is finished its me who has finished! Its me who has finished and that’s why I am not able to understand him. Its because of my inefficiency that I am not able to understand his sufficiency. He is infinite I am finite! He is the perfect and I am imperfect! He is the absolute and I am impotent!
At the time when I used to realize this I used to feel completely exhausted and tired! Then I used to feel too much tired. I used to feel tired of knowing that I am potent. I really tell you I used to feel very much tired. And I used to feel more tired as I used to realize that this journey of understanding Him can not be stopped. I have to walk. I used to just realize that the quest of understanding Him is not yet quenched. It has to go on…and I used to start again to walk…